Fine

 

It’s our after-school ritual;

Every day,

About twenty past four,

She crashes through the door.

‘HELL O!’ she sings

‘HELL O!’ I sing back.

 

She kicks off her shoes

Dumps her bag on the chair

And then I go, all casual dad,

‘So? How was school today?’

Quick as a flash

She replies

‘Fine’.

 

But that’s not ‘fine’ like nice weather

Or ‘fine’ like excellent wine

That’s teenage ‘fine’ as in

 

END OF DISCUSSION FULL STOP LAST WORDS

DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT FINAL

DON’T GO THERE

END OF THE LINE

FINE!  

 

It doesn’t matter what day it is,

What lessons she’s had

It’s always ‘fine.’

And then we move on to toast;

 

‘Strawberry Jam?

Honey?’

‘Fine.’

 

But ‘fine’

Isn’t fine

By me.

 

I really want to know what school was like on Monday

And Tuesday.

I want to know who came top in history.

And

Who got told off in Maths for cheating.

(even if she didn’t really do it )

 

I know to know what poem she did in English

I want to know about bullies and drug dealers

And detention

And that teacher who

Keeps

Fall ing

A  sssleep

In

Lessssonzzzzss

 

I want to know about Best Friends

And Worst Enemies.

 

I also want to know why

the canteen cheese and potato pie

tastes so much nicer than mine?

 

So one day

I’m popping the toast in the toaster

And I just come out and say it:

‘It can’t always be ‘fine’ you know.

Not every single day.’

 

Inside a little voice is going

Stop now.

You’re digging a hole

You’re falling in.

But it’s too late.

I’m in mastermind dad mode,

I’ve started and I’ve got to finish,    

‘What

On earth

Does ‘fine’ mean anyway!’

 

That does it!

She looks at me

As if

I’ve just put pants on my head,

As if I’ve just been unmasked

As

The Idiot of the World.

 

Then she explains

The meaning

Of fine.

 

‘It means that I have had enough,’ she says.

‘It means that I have been doing things

All day

Talking and listening and looking at screens

All day

Asking questions and writing answers

All day.

 

It means I can’t face

Doing it

All over again.

That’s what ‘fine’ means.

OK?’

 

 

Well...

Obviously

At that moment

There was only

One thing

Anyone

Could possibly

Say...

 

 

 

Jonathan Shipton

 

Quarter past four

3/4/03

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